The Gremlin That Works for You
El duende que trabaja para ti
A student reflects on how insidious the habit of avoidance is, and the teacher explains that the "gremlin" of resistance exists only because we keep asking it for tips on how not to relate to reality.
The Gremlin That Works for You
A student reflects on how insidious the habit of avoidance is, and the teacher explains that the "gremlin" of resistance exists only because we keep asking it for tips on how not to relate to reality.
Your conversation just now affirms how valuable it is to do this work with other people. That was a perfect conversation. Every time, a different angle or a different issue comes up, but it fit exactly with what you were saying during the meditation. Really extremely helpful, thank you so much. And I love how you caught that the last comment was another attempt at control. That went over my head; I didn't catch it. That's exactly what I'm finding with myself: I think I get it, I think I know what's happening, and that's usually the sign. That little gremlin, it's amazing.
You've finally got the solution to the problem, and now it's all going to be okay. You figured it out.
Oh, it's so insidious.
The gremlin exists because we invite it
It's going to be there until we decide to relate to the things we don't want to relate to. That's just what it is. Until we make that decision, the gremlin will keep showing up, telling us how to not relate to things, how to control them or get rid of them. That's the piece. The gremlin doesn't just say, "Okay, you don't need me anymore, goodbye."
Exactly, like an "I've arrived" kind of thing.
No. It's only there because we are asking it to be there, to give us tips on how not to relate to reality. Once we are able to relate to pretty much everything that a normal daily life presents, say, out of 365 days in a year, we can relate to pretty much everything that's going on for 300 of those days, then that gremlin goes to sleep. It goes into hibernation.
Wow. It's so ingrained. That just shows me how deeply ingrained it is. I don't even see it because it feels so natural.
Collective reinforcement
It's natural, and it's collectively reinforced. That's what everybody's doing.
That's so true. It feels like this constant, constant pressure, so I need to do everything I can to push against that tendency. Well, "push against" is a lousy way to say it, but just be aware, be aware, be aware. It comes in so many guises, it's phenomenal. A friend of mine was saying, "I can't believe I'm this old already." And that was all about time. She's counting, and what does that have to do with anything? How do you feel now? Isn't it great? But it's so natural to say that, especially in the company of others. And then I respond to her from where I am, and I think, "Where is that coming from?" But I'm glad the response comes naturally, that it doesn't resonate with me anymore. It takes a while to get a certain solidity in where I am right now. It takes a lot of practice. But this process is just incredible. It's absolute magic.
Responsibility for the habits of our mind
That's great. I'm glad. I hear a lot of people who have been doing this work for a long time, and the way the experience is often described is: "This is happening to me." Like the gremlin. "This is just what's happening to me, and I have to sit here and bear it." There's a lack of responsibility in that. We program our minds. In very important ways, we are responsible for the habits our mind gets good at.
Especially in the last decade or two of neuroscience, the old myth has been debunked: the idea that the mind was essentially frozen at around age twenty, that no new neural pathways could be created, that nothing could change. That was fantastically debunked. So now we have no excuse.