The Oscillation Between Glimpse and Forgetting
La oscilación entre el vislumbre y el olvido
A question about the back-and-forth experience of glimpsing a deeper reality and then losing it, and whether one has any control over this oscillation.
The Oscillation Between Glimpse and Forgetting
A question about the back-and-forth experience of glimpsing a deeper reality and then losing it, and whether one has any control over this oscillation.
I was wondering at the mystery of all these things that you and other teachers talk about. Sometimes it feels so obvious and natural. For instance, in the meditation I did on Sunday, it seemed so clear: "Yes, there is this whole other reality that I am." And then, just now while meditating, it seemed as if there was this entity making an effort. When seen from the other side, it's like: no, it has nothing to do with you, with the effort, with anything.
I'm just wondering at this oscillation, whether I have any control over it. Sometimes I suddenly realize something and it's so liberating and peaceful, and I feel grateful. But then it's gone. Thinking about it now as I'm talking, it seems as if this oscillation is opening more often. I don't know. I'm just wondering at the mystery of it.
I think you're describing something that's quite central in this process. The more you have glimpses and tastes of something, let's call it reality, the more familiar it becomes.
What a glimpse of reality actually is
To be precise: a glimpse of reality is a recognition of something to be more real than what you previously thought reality to be. This can be seen in different ways. You believe you know what you are. You believe you know what reality is. And then you see something that, by contrast, shows that this was a belief.
This happens with factual things too. Think of the Santa Claus example: you believe Santa Claus is real, and then you discover that he is real, but he's your parents. There are deeper beliefs like this, and when something is experienced as real, we don't know it to be a belief. You experience it as reality. You're not saying, "I believe this and that." You are living it as your reality.
The flipping back and forth
So when you have a glimpse and there's a contrast with your normal way of experiencing reality, you can then interpret that glimpse as "just some weird experience." It could be denied, questioned, suppressed. But if it's contemplated more seriously and the longing for truth is deep, you're going to be flipping back and forth more often.
The more you start doing that, the more your beliefs and your relative reality start to loosen. This back and forth that you're describing starts to become really polarized into a very defined duality: doing versus being, being everything versus being something, being nothing versus being something, having will versus not having will. It becomes more and more pronounced and, in a sense, more confusing.
When the two are seen as one
But at some point, what can happen is that those two are seen to be one. That is what cannot be described.
The process of flipping back and forth, and the increasing frequency with which it happens, is a good sign. So don't get too attached to any particular explanation of what is real. For example: "Is there free will? Can I do something?" The answer to those questions is always yes and no. If you try to define truth as an absolute answer to a dual question, you will fall back into something that is not real.