The Oscillation Between Glimpses and Forgetting
La oscilación entre los vislumbres y el olvido
A question about the back-and-forth experience of seeing reality clearly in one moment and then losing that clarity, and whether one has any control over this oscillation.
The Oscillation Between Glimpses and Forgetting
A question about the back-and-forth experience of seeing reality clearly in one moment and then losing that clarity, and whether one has any control over this oscillation.
I was wondering at the mystery of all these things that you and other teachers talk about. Sometimes it feels so obvious and natural. For instance, in the meditation I did on Sunday, it seemed so clear: "Yes, there is this whole other reality that I am." And then, just now while meditating, it seemed as though there was this entity making an effort. When seen from the other side, it's like: no, it has nothing to do with you, with the effort, with anything.
I'm just wondering about this oscillation, whether I have any control over it. Sometimes I suddenly realize something, and it's so liberating and peaceful, and I feel grateful. But then it closes again. Thinking about it now, it seems as if the oscillation is opening more often. I don't know. I'm just wondering at the mystery of it, if you have something to say about it.
I think you're describing something that is quite central to this process. The more you have glimpses and tastes of something, let's call it reality, the more a certain dynamic begins to unfold.
What a glimpse of reality actually is
To be really precise: a glimpse of reality is a recognition of something to be more real than what you previously thought reality to be. This can be seen in different ways. You believe you know what you are. You believe you know what reality is. And then you see something that, in contrast, shows that this was a belief.
This happens with factual things too. Think of the metaphor of Santa Claus. You believe Santa Claus is real, and then you discover he is real, but he's your parents. There are deeper beliefs that operate in the same way. When something is experienced as real, we don't know it to be a belief. You experience it as reality. You're not saying, "I believe this and that." You are living it as your reality.
The back and forth intensifies
So when you have a glimpse, and there's a contrast between that glimpse and your normal way of experiencing reality, you can then interpret it as just some weird experience. It could be denied, questioned, suppressed. But if it's contemplated more seriously, and the longing for truth is deep, you're going to be flipping back and forth more often.
The more you start doing that, the more the beliefs and the relative reality start to loosen. You're talking about this back and forth, and it starts to become really polarized into a very defined duality. For example: doing versus being, or being everything and being something, or being nothing and being something, having will and not having will. It becomes more and more pronounced and, in a sense, more confusing.
When the two sides are seen as one
But at some point, what can happen is that those two are seen to be one. That is what cannot be described. The process where you are flipping back and forth, and the frequency of it increasing, is a good sign.
So don't get too attached to any kind of explanation of what is real. For example: "Is there free will?" or "Can I do something?" The answer to those questions is always yes and no. If you try to define truth as an absolute answer to a dual question, you will fall back into something that is not real.