The Beloved Is Too Close
El Amado Está Demasiado Cerca
A meditation on noticing how thought shapes our experience and discovering that what we most long for is already closer than close.
The Beloved Is Too Close
Anchoring in sensation
The foundational practice:
we just observe sensation,
the breath as an anchor.
And from that anchor, we pay attention to thought.
But we often don't know what thought is.
Think of that, most of us.
Thought goes deeper than that.
The experience of time
The experience of time is a thought.
Bring your attention to the experience of time.
Keeping an anchor in sensation,
we are still just observing the mind.
Contrast between the present and the mind is a great void.
We can call it mystery.
All sense of the known is thinking.
Longing for a relationship with reality,
current raw experience,
unfiltered by thought.
Where am I?
You can play with one question:
where am I?
And notice a tug of war between mystery and thinking.
I'm on planet Earth,
a certain country,
certain city,
certain room,
experiencing from a body.
All of that is thought.
All we need is the tiniest distance,
the tiniest distance with our thoughts,
to know that none of them are absolutely true,
just to see that I'm relating to thought and not reality.
Touching direct experience
So then when you touch your experience with direct raw sensation of breath,
the tingling sensations,
is it the chest moving?
Is the hand a mysterious wonder,
electric tingling movement,
or is it just the image of a hand?
One is direct raw experience;
the other is the focus on mind.
This requires no effort.
No questions have no answer.
Dropping beliefs
As we walk towards freedom,
that movement is a choice to drop beliefs.
Who am I?
What am I?
Where am I?
Why am I here?
What do I need?
Mystery, freedom, God, the unknown,
the present moment reality;
all these are synonymous words.
Love, compassion, I.
All made from the same substance.
Nothing needs to change
There's a sense of contraction,
frustration, discomfort,
fear, anxiety, pain.
Just notice there's absolutely no need for that to change.
Everything exactly as it is.
Mind is racing.
It's perfect exactly as it is.
Notice all forms, all experiences,
made from the same substance.
What is before that?
What is its essence?
Always here
You know it right now.
It is always here.
Before all experiencing, difficult or non-difficult,
before that, always here.
Unknowable through mind.
It is not hidden.
It is not a secret.
It cannot be attained.
It is always.
If you're having an experience, then there it is.
Too close
You cannot understand it.
It is too close, too intimate.
You cannot look at it.
You cannot perceive it.
It is too close, too intimate.
It is the core of your heart.
It is what the word "I" points to.
Too close.
Too close to touch,
as it is what touches,
as it is what is touched.
The lover and the beloved,
right here, right now.
Nothing is needed
Nothing is needed.
Striving or efforting towards it is running away.
You hear a sound; it is the beloved.
If you have fear, it is the beloved.
If you were hurt, it is the beloved.