Where Wanting Comes From
De dónde viene el deseo
A reflection on how fear quietly drives our choices, and the practice of learning to feel that fear rather than act from it.
Where Wanting Comes From
A reflection on how fear quietly drives our choices, and the practice of learning to feel that fear rather than act from it.
Laws are for when people are unconscious, which is most people. So laws are needed. But this principle applies to every decision we make. Do we make a coffee or not? Where is the decision coming from? What's the impulse? What's the drive? Is it an anxiety that I'm trying to manage and control, or am I just loving the flavor? There is a different quality to each.
The difficulty of seeing fear
The problem is that it's not easy to know when we are acting and moving and living from fear. Something can feel like it is truly what we want and need, and most of the time it can still be based on fear. We still need to do what we want, because otherwise that awareness can become its own trap: "Well, then I don't do what I want." You still have to do what you want, but look at where that wanting comes from. Dig deep. And be willing to suppress action if you recognize it's coming from fear, anxiety, or the need to control.
Sitting with what arises
By suppressing action that is coming from fear, you will feel fear. And so we need to learn to be able to sit with fear, to sit with pain, so that fear and pain are not where we're acting from. When we are able to feel all the fear we have, feel all the pain we have, and still connect to deep desire, then that deep desire is going to be coming from something beyond the mechanisms of fear and pain, because we are not trying to avoid them or suppress them.
These are general statements, and the more general a statement is, the more wrong it can be. These are relevant pointers and guidelines, but when they are this broad, especially regarding action and choices, there are a lot of ifs and buts and exceptions.