Why Do People Search?
¿Por Qué Busca la Gente?
A question about the paradox of spiritual seeking, the fear it brings, and the inner conflict between wanting peace and being drawn back into storminess.
Why Do People Search?
A question about the paradox of spiritual seeking, the fear it brings, and the inner conflict between wanting peace and being drawn back into storminess.
I ask myself about the phenomenon of why people search. Why am I searching? It's always the ego wanting to get something, always, always, because it wouldn't be possible otherwise. It's so dangerous, like going into death. Nobody wants to die. So for me, it feels so unnatural that people come together to search for this. There's something not logical about it.
But anyway, I'm drawn to it. I also have these times of intense fear. It's better now, but it's still there, I think. I don't know what's happening. Is it that something wants to find itself? If I speak my truth, I want to be more relaxed, more at ease in myself. But I don't even know what I wanted to say. I'm sorry.
Don't apologize.
The storm of seeking
It's quite common to have a stormy process. It's the most common thing. You're talking about fear. You're talking about very intense seeking, and a conflict with seeking, and a lot of different forces and energies pushing and pulling in different directions. That is what I'm hearing.
Something in you deeply wants to be at peace, but there is also something fighting to avoid that peace. You're wondering why, because there's a part of you that seems to be attached to a certain storminess.
Addiction to familiar experience
I'll pause for a moment so you can tell me if this resonates. This attachment isn't something that's happening to you. There's a certain flavor, something we get used to. If you drink a lot of coffee, there's going to be a repetition of being drawn toward the caffeine, and there's going to be a struggle: "I'm drinking too much coffee, so I should stop." Then you start to stop, and then you want more coffee.
There is naturally, in the human mind, a certain addiction to particular experiences and ways of feeling. That's what we want, in a sense, to be free from. That's the longing for peace, for rest. And then there's something you experience that moves in the opposite direction: this intense seeking. It will create storminess as a side effect. Does what I'm describing resonate?