The Space That Is Always Here
El Espacio Que Siempre Está Aquí
A gentle exploration of the ever-present space of being, turning toward dissatisfaction with openness rather than trying to fix or escape it.
The Space That Is Always Here
The gap between thoughts
We hear about the space, or the gap, between thoughts.
Let's assume there is always a gap.
There is always space, even when there are thoughts.
Let's not try to stop the mind or control thought.
And if I say "don't try to control thought" and you try to do that,
trying to not control is also mental activity.
It's an effort.
Space is always there. There is always a gap,
no matter what is happening.
Where would we find it?
It is always present, here and now.
The gap, the space that is pointed to,
the space is the space of beingness.
Everything that is experienced: sensation, thinking, desiring,
all experience in the spaciousness of being.
What we're looking for is very subtle.
It's not a grand experience, although those can happen.
Beingness
Right now there is beingness.
Feel into what is more real:
what you're experiencing, or the experiencer.
There are sensations, sounds, images, thoughts.
What is most substantive?
What feels more real?
Don't assume your body is more real.
Sense your breathing.
Air through the nostrils.
Sensations in the chest and the belly.
But since that assumed an experiment, an exploration,
consciously and intentionally assume:
what you're looking for already is, and it's here always.
Explore that.
How could that be possible?
Two paths
Two paths, two presents, both complement each other.
The first is all kinds of practices,
through effort and will, to tame the mind.
To let go of thoughts.
Put attention into what is happening.
Often very useful practice.
So right now, attention to the breath.
The breath points to current present sensation,
as opposed to thoughts,
the virtual world of thinking,
which pulls us away from current sensation and perception.
There's a second path.
They complement each other.
So while you anchor yourself in raw present sensation,
contemplate the possibility that what you're looking for is always present,
no matter what is happening,
no matter what you're experiencing.
What you're looking for is you,
no matter what is being experienced.
If you're experiencing, you are present.
Dissatisfaction
Naturally, something feels missing.
My words seem unreal.
There is dissatisfaction.
Notice this dissatisfaction,
the sense of something missing.
It'll take many forms:
irritation, restlessness, boredom, frustration, anxiety.
This restlessness, this dissatisfaction,
is like a constant voice giving directions.
"You just need to do this, or go there, or get that.
Change this."
All kinds of directions.
So convincing.
It feels so real and so true.
"Of course, if I just get this, of course I will be better."
But it's an addiction,
arising from a deep distrust.
Distrusting now.
Now is everything.
Now is you.
Now is God.
Now is the universe.
Three that are one, and one that is three.
The voice that gives directions
So notice this voice of dissatisfaction giving directions.
How you can find what you want: not here, not now, somewhere else.
If only this changed.
But notice the promise:
that if those get resolved, then I will finally be okay.
This dissatisfaction will finally, completely stop.
That will not happen.
Conscious suffering
There is a way.
Conscious suffering.
We are now sitting, putting attention on our deep dissatisfaction.
Notice that voice feels very much like you, as it uses the word "I."
It speaks with authority.
"I just know if I do this, or I get that, that's all I need. If only I..."
And we believe that. We identify with that.
But it is not you.
Conscious suffering is a choice,
to choose to want what is happening.
It includes doing what you want and what you can to change it,
like a surfer on a wave.
If a wave suddenly changes direction
and the surfer tries to fight it,
it will be the end of surfing.
By turning towards this dissatisfaction,
you can discover a freedom in everything that is happening.
We resist the love, the beauty, the freedom.
Trust the possibility that it is always here,
always available.
Nothing needs to change.
At first it burns, too hot to touch.
Or a love so sweet, in time.