The Freedom in What We Choose to Dislike
La libertad en lo que elegimos rechazar
A reflection on how our rejection of our own beauty is not a fixed truth but a free choice, one that serves our hiding and shields us from the responsibility of self-acceptance.
The Freedom in What We Choose to Dislike
A reflection on how our rejection of our own beauty is not a fixed truth but a free choice, one that serves our hiding and shields us from the responsibility of self-acceptance.
There is something here that is difficult to communicate. It is something that can, in a sense, eventually be realized, but it is not what matters most, at least not to begin with.
Seeing the projection clearly
When I was young, I would look at myself in the mirror and feel very displeased. There was a strong emotional reaction to what I saw. Over time, a process began in me of noticing this constant projection of a lack of beauty in myself. It could be about physical appearance, about my thoughts, about my abilities or lack of them. That whole process is probably the best place to start, though it depends on where each of us is.
A choice we don't recognize as a choice
What this process highlights is a choice we are making. It is actually a free choice: the choice to dislike something. And it is free because if we were to decide instead to like something in ourselves, that decision would bring a certain responsibility, one we are choosing not to take on.
How disliking serves us
For example, my belief that I was not attractive was in service to my shyness. It was in service to my hiding. It was in service to my not taking risks in relationships. To hold that idea, to carry that belief, was purely a choice made in freedom.