Waiting Without Hope
Esperar sin esperanza
A student reflects on the discomfort of waiting, having long told themselves that waiting is a form of ignorance, and discovers that waiting may be exactly what is needed.
Waiting Without Hope
A student reflects on the discomfort of waiting, having long told themselves that waiting is a form of ignorance, and discovers that waiting may be exactly what is needed.
What I have to do is wait. But somehow I have told myself, doing this work, that waiting is a bad state. That waiting is not something you should be doing, that waiting is ignorance. But it just seems to be the only thing that is there right now: wait. And just wait without hope.
That poem came to mind as soon as you started speaking. "Wait without hope."
The meaning of "wait"
"Wait" points to a hesitation, a pausing when you are about to jump into a doing to get somewhere. But it's a doing that is internal. It's not the movement of the body, the acting and functioning in the world. It's a doing that is psychological.
Where it gets confused is in the world. In many of the movements it is obvious enough: my work doesn't stop, I'll go to Paris, maybe I'll go to Mexico. But there are other things that are less clear. Do I push to look for a relationship now, or do I not? That one is less clear. Do I do something about it?
It's closer. What you're looking for is closer.
Thank you.
You're welcome.