Letting It Sit There
Dejarlo Estar Ahí
A student describes a day of intense emotional dysregulation triggered by a childhood wound, and the teacher responds with a reflection on the futility of trying to neutralize what is already being experienced.
Letting It Sit There
A student describes a day of intense emotional dysregulation triggered by a childhood wound, and the teacher responds with a reflection on the futility of trying to neutralize what is already being experienced.
I had a simple example from yesterday. For whatever reason, I was emotionally very dysregulated because of something that happened. It stems from a childhood wound that I'm aware of and have been following up on, but it got activated yesterday. On top of the emotional dysregulation, my mind was busy being my adult self within my current experience, telling me this emotional outburst is meaningless. So the mind starts trying to fight that feeling.
Once I realized it's almost impossible to fight it, I said: something got activated, it's bodily and very deep, and I cannot solve this at this very moment. So I'm just going to let it stay there, let it hang out on its own, give it space. My adult self doesn't necessarily agree with it, because I'm fine, there's no problem, while my inner child says otherwise, and I cannot silence it right now. So I'm just going to let this space be as it is, because I know this is a story I've been telling myself.
It affects everything; it affects this present moment. But I cannot fight it or neutralize it. I'm just going to let it sit there, give it space, step back, and see how it unrolls. I was able to do that, but it took me all day. It was not easy.
Thank you for sharing.
The impulse to neutralize
I suppose "neutralizing" is just another map, another strategy to change what's happening now. It's like looking at a lamp, wanting the lamp to not shine, and then getting really mentally and emotionally aroused about that. Because it's something that's already happening. It's already being experienced. And this could be emotions, it could be thoughts, it could be something perceived directly, like sound.