Seeing Others as Part of Yourself
Ver a los demás como parte de ti mismo
A student describes experimenting with the practice of seeing every person they encounter as part of themselves, and how this shifts their experience of identity, guilt, and connection in everyday situations.
Seeing Others as Part of Yourself
A student describes experimenting with the practice of seeing every person they encounter as part of themselves, and how this shifts their experience of identity, guilt, and connection in everyday situations.
I was at a dance retreat over the weekend, and one of the regular dancers I often engage with was participating quite a bit. I noticed more joy and openness in her face, and when she shared in the circle, she said she had taken on this exercise: with everyone she saw, everyone she danced with, she tried to feel that that person was a part of her.
It really inspired me. Yesterday I was doing that a little bit, just in the grocery store, which is a place where I often feel awkward. Specifically in the area with prepared food and people working behind a counter, I can feel guilty about the difference in socioeconomic status and privilege. It feels almost habitual. There's a range I pick up on in terms of who seems to be enjoying their job or their time there, but in general, it's one of those moments where identity feels really strong.
The exercise in practice
So I started practicing that exercise in this moment. There was a woman behind the counter making my food, and I was just trying it on. I could tell she had this really beautiful smile, a subtle smile that would just come over her face, almost as if blooming from the background. In that moment I thought: maybe she knows more than I do. Maybe there was something about my showing up in that way that was being recognized.
This is all just my projection or ideation, but I remember leaving the grocery store with a little bit of that sense you just shared about the birds and the sky. There was an openness and a settling into the physical environment that felt really peaceful.
When it opens and when it contracts
It's really interesting to watch how I can actively play with that sometimes, and how it can also disappear and contract. If I cross paths with a homeless person, sometimes they're actually easier to connect with in that way because they can be more open. But other times I have a tendency to avoid that person. It's really interesting to notice when that feeling comes and goes.