The Door Inside Fear
La puerta dentro del miedo
A student shares a lifelong terror of speaking in groups, and the teacher explores the difference between being in fear and having fear of fear.
The Door Inside Fear
A student shares a lifelong terror of speaking in groups, and the teacher explores the difference between being in fear and having fear of fear.
I want to share something first, because it was a beautiful experience of being in what you describe as the empty space where sounds, images, and thoughts appear. I have never had that point of view before, of feeling or knowing about that space. It was really something. I'm very happy because it opened many things. I don't know what will happen, but it doesn't matter. It was a very full and lovely place. Thank you very much.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Very happy to hear.
I have children in the other room sick in bed, so can I say something quickly? I might have to go. I wanted to ask about the utter terror I've developed over thirty years of speaking in a group. I know it has to do with this, with beliefs I've developed. If I know I might have to say something in a group of people I don't know, there is just absolute fear. And you've mentioned that it's important to face personal exposure. So, against all my instincts, I feel like I have to say this.
It looks like you've overcome it, at least for this moment.
I rarely do, but I knew I had to, and I don't know how much time I have today.
I can speak a little bit to that while you're here. If you need to go and you have more to say, you can access the recording.
Fear of fear
There are many aspects to this. It's important because a relationship to fear is a door. If we can't have that relationship, a very important door remains closed.
There is a difference between being in fear and having fear of fear. You anticipate the fear, and then you can rationalize all kinds of reasons not to go there. That is the fear of fear.
Obviously, we always have to discern which fears we should face and which are important warnings to listen to. It's like crossing the road: if there's a bus coming very fast and you feel afraid, you should probably not face that fear and walk in front of the bus.
When the fear is out of proportion
But when the fear is so wildly out of proportion to the situation, it's a sign that there is a door we are not able to walk through. Speaking in front of a group, for example. It becomes a practice, because once we are able to face that fear, what is on the other side is an energy and an aliveness.