The Taste of Difficult Sensations
El Sabor de las Sensaciones Difíciles
A reflection on how genuine freedom is inseparable from responsibility, and how facing the conflicts we most want to avoid is what actually dissolves the illusion of a separate self.
The Taste of Difficult Sensations
A reflection on how genuine freedom is inseparable from responsibility, and how facing the conflicts we most want to avoid is what actually dissolves the illusion of a separate self.
If you are climbing a hard mountain, you are fit, you are hurting. No matter how good you are at it, your body and mind are going to protest: what are you doing? That is, if you are really challenging yourself. This serves as a metaphor for the experiences and sensations we simply have a big "no" to.
What threatens the sense of self
The triggers for that resistance are going to be relationships, anything that threatens the sense of self-identity. It is going to be fears of endings: the ending of life, the ending of a relationship, the ending of survival capacities. So it shows up around work situations, close relationships, parents. And when we say "anything that threatens the self," what we really mean is anything that threatens the illusion. Anything that forces you to see the illusion you do not want to let go of.
Spiritual bypassing
If you think, "I heard about this telepathy experience and the implication is that the self doesn't exist, that consciousness is a global energy field, and therefore I can slip into that and not have conflict," then you are avoiding the real conflict you have to work with in your life. It is precisely there, in learning how to handle that conflict, that you actually learn to peel back the layers of the illusion of identity. The telepathy experience can, at best, let you know that you thought things were more separate than they are. But it is not enough evidence to completely dispel the illusion of separation.
Freedom and responsibility
If you face and work with whatever your responsibility requires you to face, if you carry a high level of responsibility, something becomes clear. A person who is free is very responsible. If you see somebody claiming freedom and you notice their lack of responsibility, they are not free. Responsibility is a direction, a north, a pointer. And then the inner integrity is this: am I willing to see how I am irresponsible and face that? What am I afraid of? What challenges am I not facing? How am I avoiding?
This inquiry is going to bring you to difficult sensations, difficult feelings and emotions. Only when you are completely okay with the taste of those sensations, feelings, and emotions are you free. And you are free to also be responsible, because you have no need to avoid.