The Free Yes and the Free No
El sí libre y el no libre
A reflection on how the mind distorts genuine impulses into self-critical absolutes, and how real freedom lies not in saying yes or no to everything, but in moment-by-moment discernment.
The Free Yes and the Free No
A reflection on how the mind distorts genuine impulses into self-critical absolutes, and how real freedom lies not in saying yes or no to everything, but in moment-by-moment discernment.
It's not that you're in the wrong country. But maybe there's something to traveling a bit. Maybe it's not the wrong city or the wrong culture, but an invitation to explore a different culture a little. The mind tends to leap to absolutes, turning a living impulse into a negative, almost a self-critical negative: a "no" to life, as if what's happening is wrong. But there may be an actual gem in what is trying to come out. The problem is that thought intercepts it, interpreting it in a way that pulls everything back into the murky mind of "something's wrong."
The gem underneath the story
The gem is that maybe there is a genuine interest in other places, in other cultures. Not because that's where the solution is, but because that's where life and love and passion happen to be moving right now.
This is one way to interpret the old koan: before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. Life is still where it's at. But we're not looking for the same thing there anymore. We are simply freely living, exploring, enjoying.
What does the universe want to live through you?
That is why I always come back to this point. There is all this work of self-inquiry and introspection, here and now, but what does the universe want to live through you, or as you? What do you want to live, you as the universe, you as life itself?
This is a really big question, and it is the whole point. You, as the universe itself, are this precious moment, an opportunity to be what only exists once. Never before has there been this particular expression of life. Never after will there be another one like it. It is this one chance, one chance at this perspective. And it's not just this lifetime in general; it is today, which is different from tomorrow. It is this moment, which is different from the next moment, which is different from the one after that.
Saying yes to everything is not the answer either
This, to me, is what that movie about saying yes is really about. It is about figuring out what you actually want. The main character starts exploring, dropping fear. He still experiences fear, but he drops the paralyzing contraction of it. Then he finds that the answer is not out there either. But that does not mean he stops experiencing life.
The movie is not about saying yes to everything. He goes to see some guru who tells him to say yes to everything that comes his way, and so he adopts that rule. Then chaos ensues, because he starts saying yes to everything that presents itself and his life goes completely off the rails. But it is also wonderful. And then he realizes that this is not the answer either. It is not yes to everything. But he needed to go through that phase to get out of saying no to everything.
What he finally discovers is something subtler: yes to this, no to that, yes to this, moment by moment. Discerning, listening, intuiting. A free yes and a free no. Not conditioned, but attuned to every moment.