Giving to Caesar What Is Caesar's
Dad al César lo que es del César
A student describes feeling disillusioned with spiritual practice after realizing it may have been a way to avoid facing worldly ambitions and desires. The teacher discusses the importance of directing different energies to their proper domains and finding balance.
Giving to Caesar What Is Caesar's
A student describes feeling disillusioned with spiritual practice after realizing it may have been a way to avoid facing worldly ambitions and desires. The teacher discusses the importance of directing different energies to their proper domains and finding balance.
I'm wondering if there is a going to the opposite extreme, in line with what you were talking about. It seems as though suddenly, with all my life situations and everything I've been going through, I realized a lot of ways in which I was doing what you were describing: going into spirituality to avoid doing things I actually wanted to be doing. Now I'm very focused on what it is I want to do and where I'm not facing what I want or have to face. I'm angry at self-inquiry, as if it's all a farce. To put it in extreme terms. It's not that I totally think that way, but it feels that way.
I'm wondering if I've swung to the opposite extreme, toward being like the people who never did anything spiritual and only lived in the world.
It's a matter of balance. And it's also a problem if we're bouncing back and forth between extremes. But often, when we're out of balance, moving toward the center will feel like falling to the other side. And I think you've made this movement very recently. So give it time.
Yes, it does feel like going to the other side, as if I have no interest in self-inquiry or meditation anymore.
Giving each energy its proper place
I think it's appropriate. There's a saying, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's." Ambition is Caesar's. The energy of ambition should be invested in the world, ethically, with high values, aligned with your deepest desires, but invested in the world. Otherwise you're mixing it up.
The more you give that energy and put it in the right place, the more there will be a deepening in the inquiry. But let the inquiry, or let's call it the spiritual work, come back on its own. Let it blossom on its own. Because otherwise you're putting the energy of ambition into a spiritual pursuit to "awaken," which is just an idea you have about what awakening is. And it's an energy that, in fact, you're using to avoid putting it where it belongs, because that's terrifying.
If you harmonize it, if you put that energy where it naturally wants to go (in your case, I'm talking specifically to you), then the deeper desire of knowing your true nature will bubble up naturally, from a deeper place, a place that's more honest. By honest I mean with less agenda.
The more common imbalance
For others, the opposite might be true. But this direction is more common, especially for people who come to these groups. If there's any imbalance, it's more likely to be in this direction. If you went to a corporation, the imbalance would generally be the other way around.
Balance as a living movement
This is just a rebalancing. There is naturally always a process of finding the center. Our teacher spoke a lot using the metaphor of a tightrope. Being in balance is not static. It's a constant finding of the center, a constant realigning. There is no such thing as being fixed in the center. It's a movement, and the vibration of aligning gets smaller and faster over time, to a point where it looks like there's no movement at all.
A professional looks perfectly still, but a beginner is making these big swings. You could think of those swings as taking a few years at first, then a few months, then a few days, then a few hours, then minutes, then seconds. The faster it gets, the smaller the movements, until the person walking the rope looks like they're moving in a perfect line without any vibration. But if you looked closely at the muscles, they would be doing this very quick, constant vibration, aligning the balance.