A question about how one's interpretation of fear shapes the relationship to it, and how listening freshly in the moment differs from applying conditioned strategies.
A question about how one's interpretation of fear shapes the relationship to it, and how listening freshly in the moment differs from applying conditioned strategies.
I feel like I'm hearing this at the right time. There's been other things coming up this week for me around a similar theme. I listened to an interview a couple of days ago where they were talking about how what makes someone more likely to advance, from a psychological standpoint, is not the ability to change their thoughts and emotions but the ability to change how they relate to them. And that is exactly what you're saying.
Yes. It's about seeing how the way you relate to your thoughts and emotions comes from an interpretation, and seeing how that interpretation can become conditioned so that you always interpret something in a certain way and then relate to it according to that interpretation.
The interpretation behind fear
For example, if you interpret fear as "fear should not be here; fear is coming from something wrong that happened in the past that needs to be fixed so that I don't feel fear anymore, and the way to fix it is A, B, C, D," that whole thing is an interpretation. Sometimes fear is God speaking, and you should listen, meaning: don't push it away. There's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't need to leave. It's actually intelligent. Then how would you interpret it? You have to listen and interpret.
Now, if you interpret by saying, "Well, I have this map that I wrote last week on how to interpret fear," that's conditioned. The way you interpret is by listening now. That's the metaphor of surfing: you can't grab the map from last week on how to surf a wave and then surf this wave appropriately. This wave is unique, and you have to respond to it in the moment, listen to it in the moment.
When you say "listening," you mean there can be some space for assessing whether this is actually God speaking, or whether it's just some stagnant energy. Inquiring into it, and then simply being aware of its presence and allowing it.
Listening without a pre-cooked interpretation
Yes. Ultimately, all of what is happening now is God speaking. So in a sense, I'm pointing to the fact that even fears that are there because of woundings and conditionings can be explored. But through the art of exploring them without a pre-cooked interpretation, you start to be able to attune to what is there, and to sense, "This feels more like this; this feels more like that." It's less of an analytical process and more of a felt sense. That's where the intelligence will start to come up.
For example, what I was describing earlier: this feels like a very disproportionate fear, as if I'm about to die, and I'm only thinking of going to talk to someone. Then the felt sense might say, if you put it in words, "Oh, I actually really want to talk, and I'm afraid because my heart is invested." There's a bit of shyness there. But that starts to connect you with an openness and a vulnerability, and the fear is just the energy of that excitement and openness happening.
It's like going on stage to perform. At first it could feel horrible and terrible and scary, but it's actually the invigoration of an energy, an openness that is bringing down barriers. There's an excitement and a vulnerability. And then there's nothing wrong in that fear. It becomes, "Wow, I'm excited and I'm feeling vulnerable and nervous, and it's sweet."
Right. And this idea that I need to process the fear: that's all just coming from the person. So it creates a loop.
The loop that creates the person
It's simpler than that. It's just coming from a belief and interpretation you have, a strategy. But it is what creates the identification. It's not coming from the person; in a sense, it's creating the person. Because it creates the sense of time: there was a past where there was a wounding, there's a future where you can resolve it and the fear won't be there anymore, and there's a person in the middle who can do all this.
Yes. This feels pretty radical. I'm glad we got to explore this. I do work with people for emotional processing and transformation, offering coaching and deep conversations to bring them more into emotional awareness and feeling. That's been a big part of my practice. But surely it has its merit.
The limit of processing
Yes, it does. There are some teachers who are quite against that kind of work, but I understand that their pushback comes from trying to avoid it becoming the path to ultimate freedom, which it is not. So they push back hard. I take a more intricate approach, which is: that work is really valuable, but it's not going to get you to the ultimate freedom and peace that you're looking for. And in fact, at some point, it might just keep you further and further away from it.
Understood. Thank you. I'm going to listen to this again.