A student describes noticing fear arise when speaking in a group, and asks about the best way to process it. The teacher reframes the relationship to fear itself, challenging the assumption that emotional energy must be worked through and removed.
A student describes noticing fear arise when speaking in a group, and asks about the best way to process it. The teacher reframes the relationship to fear itself, challenging the assumption that emotional energy must be worked through and removed.
I recognize fear as something that does influence me. It definitely influences my mind, and I can get into spirals about it. But this was more subtle. It's not that I spoke or didn't speak because of the fear. I just noticed the energy appearing in me, and I wanted to understand the best way to process it while still being aware.
There's a fear, and the fear is saying: this direction, possible pain. That's what fear communicates. It's a sense of self-preservation, an impulse to avoid pain or to avoid an ending of some sort. That's the basic mechanism of fear. It says: this direction, possible pain, possible something you don't want. In this case, that something was speaking in the group right now. That's all it's saying.
But you could interpret that as, "Oh, great, I have a sensor that's telling me where to go." If the fear is happening because there's a bus coming and you're about to cross the road, you interpret it as "don't step in front of the bus." But in this context, you interpret it as "I should speak." The response is opposite. In one case, you don't do what the fear is warning against. In the other case, you do exactly what the fear is warning against.
The habitual move to fix
Now, when you said "the best way to process it," whatever comes after that is going to be about how to remove the fear, unless it's "what's the best way to interpret or respond to it?"
Okay, so that's a better way of saying it.
Yes, but it's important to notice how immediately the habitual response is there: "There's a fear. It would be better if this wasn't here. How do I get rid of it?" That's the problem. That's the problematic interpretation.
Fear is a wave appearing in the experience of the present moment. You can take the position of being on a surfboard with a wave coming and trying to stop the wave, trying to get rid of it. Or you can ask, "How do I surf this wave?" In one position, you interpret the wave as something that should not be here.
This is interesting. I understand what you mean, but at the same time, doesn't it make sense to actively work with the emotional body to let whatever stored-up energy from the past, imprints and such, be released from the nervous system? So that we're less influenced by emotional energy, and then it's easier to move through life and be present and aware of the truth all around us, because there's less input, less stimulation.
Questioning the assumption of stored-up material
I understand that. But you do have an assumption that there is some past stored-up response that needs to be released or changed, and that's not always the case. There's an interpretation running: "This fear is coming up, there's something that needs to be processed, so that in the future, this fear will come up less or won't be as strong." There's a strategy built on the idea that there is a problem that needs to be processed.
I am describing a different way to relate to it, one that can also achieve what you're describing. If you're talking about living more freely, consider this: if whatever comes up, including fear, you are able to freely surf with it, live with it, move with it, respond to it wisely, then you are living freely without requiring fear not to be there.
Your strategy is: "I need to process something so that I will have less and less fear." What I'm saying is, if you're able to be with fear in a different way, in the sense of relating to it differently, fear will come and go, and there won't be a problem whether it's here or not. Then, actually, it will come up less and less. Sometimes something does need to be processed, but not always in the sense that there is some deeper work that must be done.
The mind that wants to go to work
Yeah, because it's like I feel something, and when I notice it, my mind just wants to go to work on it.
Exactly. That's what I've been trying to point out since the beginning. That reflex is going to keep you in a never-ending avoidance, always trying to arrive at a state where things are finally fixed. The "go to work on it" strategy as a means to resolve and remove does have value, but I'm trying to point to a different way, something complementary. The approach you have is one that will not go as deep.
Right. So it's an option that serves me and can serve other people, but ultimately there's a deeper way of relating to it that you're pointing to.
Yes. That option is useful and valuable at certain times, but when it's not useful, you're still using it. So it's a conditioned response.