Awareness Watching Awareness
La consciencia observando la consciencia
A question about the practice of resting attention in awareness itself, and whether this effortful self-remembering differs from simply observing thoughts and sensations.
Awareness Watching Awareness
A question about the practice of resting attention in awareness itself, and whether this effortful self-remembering differs from simply observing thoughts and sensations.
I've been spending a lot of time in the practice of self-remembering, trying to hold my attention in my sense of awareness. I've been doing a lot of meditation, a lot of guided meditation, and just taking it easy in my human life: going on walks. I feel like I don't really know what to do on the human level, so I'm putting a lot of energy into just being in the self.
But in meditation today, you gave a different kind of pointing, and I've heard this before when I was in India, but it felt different this time. You said something like, "Don't try to force your attention. Allow the thoughts. Just observe the happenings of the body and sensations." It felt different because I had been so focused on harnessing my attention in the sense of presence. Do you have a comment on that? Is one better than the other, or is it the same thing?
The practice of observing thought and staying connected to the breath, for example, is a very common meditation practice. It won't go very deep. It's valuable, and it's going to strengthen an aspect of the mind. You can use a kind of willpower and do a bit of forcing, where you're pushing against the temptation and the movement into thought and staying connected to the breath. That is valuable. It's like harnessing and strengthening an aspect of the mind, and it's going to create positive changes in the body-mind, but it's not the same as freedom from.
The freedom from will come from seeing what's happening, what's pulling you into the mind and away from sensation. To see that requires a different kind of looking.
Sorry to interrupt, but which one is the one that I said I've been doing?
I'm using the example of paying attention to the breath as an illustration of the type of thing I think you're doing. Does that resonate?
Well, it's awareness, so it's not an object. It's the sense of being.
The effort of placing awareness in awareness
So you're, so to speak, putting awareness in awareness, noticing what you called the self. What happens when you do that? Do you feel that you're efforting there?
Yes. The mind wants to wander and have opinions about the experience I'm in. It doesn't feel natural to be in that space completely.
So in a sense it's the same issue. How is the mind not awareness? If there's an efforting away from thought and into awareness, that is separating thought from awareness. So I'm asking you: how is thought not awareness?
Well, thought is inside awareness.
How is it separate? I could have water inside of a glass and the water is not the glass.
I'm not sure I understand your question.
You're moving your attention, or your awareness, away from thought and into awareness. Where is thought and where is awareness? How are they two?
I am aware of the thoughts, for sure. The thoughts come in and I recognize them. I'm in the body, I'm sensing the sounds, I'm trying to just be present with the experience while maintaining awareness of awareness. This is how I was introduced to non-duality ten years ago.
Every pointer has its limits
That's fine. The thing is, these practices, these pointers, are all useful, valuable, some extremely valuable, but they're always context dependent. Every pointing, every technique is going to take you so far and then it's going to have limitations. What you're describing is a very valid, valuable practice, as is paying attention to the breath and sitting and focusing on breath awareness for hours. It's very valuable, but it's not going to take you to the end, to absolute freedom.
The practice of putting your attention or awareness in awareness needs to be refined. That one could actually go very far, but it needs refinement. What is awareness? That's why I'm raising these questions. There are subtleties around the objectification of awareness. When you place your awareness in awareness, where is it going?