A student reflects on how pretending not to be lost is itself a form of avoiding life's fundamental pain, leading to a discussion of the prodigal son parable and the purpose of contemplative practice.
A student reflects on how pretending not to be lost is itself a form of avoiding life's fundamental pain, leading to a discussion of the prodigal son parable and the purpose of contemplative practice.
Pretending to be somewhere that you're not is a way of ignoring the fundamental pain of life.
One hundred percent. In the parable, it would be the equivalent of pretending you're not lost.
The son who stayed behind
That is the other son, the one who did not leave. He is pretending not to be lost. Then, when the prodigal son returns and the father throws a great feast, the older brother says, "Father, why are you celebrating this? I have been here all along." And the father replies, "Can't you see? He was lost and now he is found."
The one who did not journey was pretending not to be lost. This is my interpretation, but it speaks to exactly what you are saying. He was still wanting and expecting the father's approval, but not really engaging, not acknowledging what was actually there.
Why identification arises
This is why the process of identification appears in the first place. I think that parable speaks very deeply to it, and to why the journey is toward life, toward intimacy with everything: to explore the failing possibilities, to explore desires, to not resist that which is appearing. The son wanted to party, whatever that means.
My sense of non-duality is that it is beautiful, and having that place to step back from the speed and intensity of life is sometimes necessary. But only so that I can come back to it with a fuller heart, able to bear more. I don't see it from the perspective of disconnecting permanently. I see communities like this as a way to ground yourself, but ultimately as a way to come back to reality with more spaciousness, to come back to the world.
Very nice to talk to you. Thank you for your answers.