The Shapes in the Clouds
Las formas en las nubes
A gentle invitation to look closely at the sense of something missing and discover that what we call I is as shapeless and ungraspable as faces in clouds.
The Shapes in the Clouds
At the root of this is that sense of something missing,
something not okay,
something in some way wrong.
Touching the root of dissatisfaction
It's valuable to not fight that,
rather to, as it appears, when it appears,
notice it's probably in your experience right now:
just a subtle sense of unrest or dissatisfaction.
Any sense of something could be better, if only this and this changed, or this and this happened.
Rather than pursuing those changes, pursuing those imaginations,
the seeking of that,
you can look directly,
touch directly the origin of that,
that sense of something missing.
And you might already have some level of understanding
based on your own experiences,
your own seeing,
your own glimpses,
that this sense of dissatisfaction isn't what it seems.
You might understand that it won't be satisfied with more.
There is that infinite trail of pursuing,
seeking satisfaction in experiences,
worldly experiences,
spiritual experiences.
Then there might be a very soft, deep,
almost instinctual whispering:
that's not the way.
I've heard it's not the way.
I feel it's not the way.
I've seen it's not the way.
And we come here, we sit, look more deeply.
We can still so that we can look more closely,
more directly.
With more intimacy with what is.
Looking at what is appearing
Right now, what is happening is sensations,
which is a concept pointing to clouds,
textures of a certain quality,
that move and take shapes
that the mind can map, like a hand, legs, skin.
The sensations are just the clouds,
like clouds in the sky appearing to have faces.
There are no faces in the clouds,
no hands in the sensations.
When there are sounds,
the voice, blah blah blah,
there are certain textures the mind reads like images in the clouds: the concepts, the words.
The concepts, the words are in thoughts,
and the eyes, open or closed, change the quality of the images that are perceived.
It's one image, one texture changing.
The mind reads shapes, objects, things.
Sensations, sounds, sight, and thoughts. Mind.
The illusion of continuity
The mind can create what appears to be a continuity, a concept.
Just like in a movie, the appearance of objects moving is an illusion,
the appearance of a continuity.
So we can look at the concept or the shape of a circle.
You can imagine the circle, the mind, imagination.
But in the mind, that circle is like waves.
If you look closely, it's not still.
It's not a thing.
It's like creating circles with clouds.
It moves, it changes.
Looking for the I
The same happens if we look at what we call I.
We call I, we define, as that which is not I.
So the sense of, for example, what we're sitting on: the couch, the chair. Not I.
Look for the location of that sense of I.
Behind the eyes, in the head, in the chest.
It's likely going to be a sensation,
a subtle muscular contraction,
a little bit of tension in the eyes,
the head, in the neck somewhat.
Now contrast to that again the sensation of what you're sitting on,
that which is not I: the couch, the chair.
You can feel it in your back, legs.
And from where you look at the chair, the legs,
then back to this location of I,
look for that distance.
One sensation: chair against the legs.
Another sensation in the head, the neck.
I. Not I.
And the mind creates a wonderful illusion.
Below me, a chair, an inanimate object.
And here, this other sensation, this other location:
I, this person, with memories, futures.
The call of it, imaginary,
and the imagination of mind.
Looking closely at all that appears
Looking closely, slowly, intimate.
All that appears: sounds, sensations, images,
what feels like I and not I.
Sound. That I. That which hears.
What actually happens is just sound,
just thoughts (I),
just sensations,
just thoughts (person).
All of what appears in mind and thoughts,
all memories, all imaginations,
all stories, all sense of I,
appears just like sounds, just like images, just like sensations.
No real distinction, no deep distinction.
On one level, sounds and sensations appear distinct.
At a deeper, truer level,
they appear together and separately in the same reality.
Known equally.
One field
All that appears, appears as one field.
Different textures, forms, shapes.
Separating sound from sight, from sensation, from thought
is like drawing a line on paper and saying it's two pieces of paper.
But it's still one.
Nowhere are there two.
There are two different shapes,
but how and where they appear cannot be divided.
The restlessness and its origin
That restlessness, that sense of lack, arises
from choosing a group of shapes, sensations, and thoughts
which constantly change and move,
and trying to keep them still,
trying to make them permanent,
constantly dissolving, like a puppy in the clouds.
All the turmoil, dukkha, trying to keep it going.
Any intense sensations, any discomfort amplifies this dukkha and suffering,
because it is hard to keep the image of self still
in order to keep the illusion of permanence, of separation.
Letting go
We need this discomfort appearing now,
whether it's physical or emotional.
Just dissolve into it.
Let it move through you.
Notice the futile effort of controlling, grasping, pushing.
Everything is moving,
everything is changing.
One field, one reality shifting.
No ground, no center,
nothing to hold on to.
Absolutely free.