What Falls Away Is Not Really You
Lo que se desvanece no es realmente tú
A question about the fear that arises when the sense of self begins to dissolve, and whether personality and identity will be lost in the process.
What Falls Away Is Not Really You
A question about the fear that arises when the sense of self begins to dissolve, and whether personality and identity will be lost in the process.
There is a repeating experience: when it becomes clear there is no "either," fear arises. The thoughts that catch me are around personality traits disappearing. Like, there's no "me" anymore. Can I pick that all up again? Do I really want to? That's the main fear.
That is a very normal mental worry about change and transformation. What I can say is this: nothing of what is valuable and real will be lost.
The sculptor in the marble
What changes? My teacher used a metaphor I think is a beautiful one. Think of it as Michelangelo sculpting from a block of marble. He would remove what was extra and discover, uncover, the sculpture that was already there. What does fall away, the parts of us that we do lose, are not really us. They are conditionings, crutches.
Something will remain. As long as there is a body, a body-mind, there will be a "you." But what can go is the belief that that is what you are. When that belief goes, it releases what we call body, what you call body, which is body-mind. It releases that to unravel, grow, flower, and develop more fully.
When I say "this person is gone," I am referring to the belief that I am what that name points to. The word points to this body-mind, which in relative reality is real. The thing is real. But the issue is the attachment to the concept, the holding on to the belief that the concept pointing to body-mind is what I am. That concept is not I.
There was a sense that there was no "me" at all, and I guess the mind assumed that meant there is no body at all.
Realization versus adopted concept
"There's no me." Those are words. But if they are coming from a realization, if they are a realization that has been put into words, they could be accurate. However, we don't go the other way around. We don't hear words that have been spoken from a realization and then try to adopt that concept as our own truth, repeating, "There's no me, there's no me." That is going the other way around.
What those words can bring up is the pointing, the question, the inquiry. It seems like I know what I am, that I am a thing. "There's no me" points to the possibility that maybe that isn't absolutely true. It invites the looking. But then, when the seeing occurs, the seeing that could be expressed in words as "there's no me, there's no self," when that realization happens, there still is body-mind. It just no longer defines what I am entirely and completely.
No, no further question. Thank you.