The Substance of Subjectivity
La Sustancia de la Subjetividad
A gentle invitation to look closely at the sense of "I" and discover what it is actually made of.
The Substance of Subjectivity
This is one of the approaches which is the path of truth.
Right now there is breathing,
sensing,
hearing,
seeing,
thinking,
feeling.
Those are all labels, categories, for communicating,
but all we really know is there is something,
something rather than nothing.
This could be a dream.
And in this: sensations, perceptions, thoughts, experience.
The root of illusion
The fundamental falseness,
the fundamental illusion,
has its root in,
"I think, I sense, I perceive,"
or, this I is separate from these things.
And any name for this sense of I, any description,
is part of the sensations, the thoughts, the perceptions
we claim to be separate from.
Turning the question
So the question, "Who am I?"
can be turned a bit.
Where is this I?
Where is this sense of subjectivity?
What is it made of,
other than the thoughts, the sensations, the perceptions
that we feel to be separate from,
that we interpret to be separate from,
that we believe to be separate from?
The only way to end a false belief
is to see reality.
Then belief falls on its own.
It requires us to go very deep,
to our deepest assumptions:
that the world out there is exactly what it seems to be,
separate and material.
What if you could see for yourself that this is a belief?
Looking at the subject
Notice this sense of subjectivity,
this sense of direction.
Looking from, looking towards,
receiving from.
Perceiver.
What is the substance of this subjectivity?
It's right in front of you.
No need to philosophize, imagine, intellectualize.
Just look.
Soft attention.
Gentle, quiet, receptive looking.
What is this subject?
Is it sensations?
Is it thoughts?
Does it have colors?
Does it have a form?
Is it abstract?
Is it tight?
Is it small?
Is it big?
Or is it a group of all of these sensations and thoughts,
whims, emotions, contractions,
the shape in the mind
with memories and a narrative,
very vivid, very personal?
Which sensations are I?
It seems to be sensations or thoughts.
Which sensations?
And why are some I and others not I?
If it's some thoughts, images in the mind,
why are some I and others not I?
Why are some subject and some not?
Why are some sensations me,
some just a part of me,
some not me?
The heart, the formless
As you look, contemplate,
be aware of the heart,
the formless, the caring.
The vulnerability,
the innocence,
the openness,
the deep, deep feeling.
And let thought lead the openness, the vulnerable,
into the not knowing,
into this mystery.
Trust, but not knowing.
Let there be confusion, strangeness.
Blurring the lines
Let all sensations be I and not I simultaneously.
Let all thoughts be I, not I, simultaneously.
Let all perceptions, forms and shapes, sounds,
be I and not I,
blurring out the edges,
blurring out the imaginary lines.
Playfully.
A child exploring, experimenting with experience.
Any experience of discomfort or tension,
the thoughts of struggle, worry,
let it all be colors and shapes, textures.
Let it all be what it is.
Kaleidoscope of colors and shapes,
dancing, moving, shifting, alive.