The Responsibility of Transmission
La responsabilidad de la transmisión
The student asks the teacher about his direct experience of energetic transmission, exploring questions of control, directionality, and the weight of responsibility that comes with it.
The Responsibility of Transmission
The student asks the teacher about his direct experience of energetic transmission, exploring questions of control, directionality, and the weight of responsibility that comes with it.
And is it similar for you as the one who's transmitting, or is there something different for you in that experience?
It's different in that it's wild to be having this shift of understanding and of experience, where it's happening in a sense the other way around.
I know that it's not really the other way around. It's a paradoxical thing. At one level, it does matter that another person is open, and that openness will even be felt as if it's coming from me. But it's more through me.
I can be available, and there's more of an availability through time and through myself for that to be present. But then when somebody else is open and available, that current that comes through me can also go and come through the other person. It's not really coming from me. If I were to make up a map: two people, and the one more established in that openness will simply invite the other person to open up. But then the current is outside of both of them, and it is the essence of both of them, and it is bringing about the recognition of a shared essence. At the level of that essence, there isn't a two-ness. That current is simply the resonance of this shared essence.
My experience quite recently has been something sensitive, very unexpected, a wildness in that sense. Seeing that it is very real, and that it's happening the other way from how I used to experience it. But it's very new for me also, and very much something I'm learning and exploring.
Does it feel expansive to you when that happens, or how would you describe it?
On the heart and the neutral current
It's different in different ways. In some ways it's at a more heart level, and in other ways it's more of a neutral current. For me, it's become more normal in a sense. And then to notice that for another person it could be quite destabilizing, that it could have a very powerful impact: that's something I'm seeing and learning.
For me, the experience is that it's a massive responsibility. There's a huge sense of responsibility first, and then there's a sense of something just very beautiful. There is so much love and beauty in it.
And would you say that you don't have any control over it, that it just happens?
No, I do actually. It's very tricky to describe, because the "I" that has control, and so on. But the experience is that it's exactly both. An aspect of it is totally beyond my understanding, my awareness, my control. And an aspect of it is fully under my awareness and my control. At the same time, that which is under my awareness and control is not fully that way.
The question of service
There's a responsibility to always check: what is this in service to? The responsibility is this sense that it's not in service to anything other than mystery. It's not in service to doing something, or any kind of outcome that I could know or understand.
But there is an aspect that is under my control, and that's the part I've found to be hardest. The part that is beyond me is in a sense easier. But what is under my control, to put it that way, is the hardest, because of the sense of responsibility.
Responsibility because you know that this has an effect on the other person and you don't know the effect?
Yes. I've already experienced how powerful the effect can be. And it's a lot. It has those two sides. It's something that's a privilege. It's beautiful. There's so much love in it, and the sense that it's a very delicate, important, and responsible thing.
I'm curious about your experience with that. I felt it from the receiving end, and it felt like a current coming through and going through me. But I was wondering: does it feel like that because I'm still identified with a separate self? Because for you, it shouldn't feel like that, right? It should feel more like just your essence, you being your essence, and whatever happens, it's not like something external to you going through you. Do you know what I mean?
Two directions of the same current
Yes. I know both experiences. One is what you describe, of something coming from another to me, and even struggling to sit with that because it's too much. The reverse is that part of it is generated internally and also comes through me. It comes from something that feels very different from "coming from a person through me to me." It comes from somewhere else, through me, and is also generated within me. And there is no struggle in it. It's not like I'm struggling to sustain it. It's more the responsibility of where it's going, because there is a sense that I can hold it, prevent it from going out, or amplify it.
At the same time, do you feel like all of that is happening inside of you, or is a part of you?
Yes. It has many aspects, because there's also an aspect that I'm not aware of, because it's become very neutral.
The warm water
It's like when you go into water that's at a comfortable temperature, and then you stop feeling the sense of warmth. You just don't have the experience of the water. If it's cold water, you're going to feel the cold. If it's hot, you're going to feel hot. But when it's at a neutral temperature to your body, you forget you're feeling anything at all. You won't have a sensation of warm or cold. It's like that. I think it's become, in some ways, something that I can't perceive, but I'm noticing it can have an effect.
There's a more subtle aspect and a more intense aspect. By subtle, I mean that for somebody else it could just feel nice, and the other person can feel trusting and open. The intense part could feel very beautiful but overwhelming, and then the other person could go into terror because the sense is that they're dissolving, or it's too much. Whereas for me, in that situation, it's the most comfortable thing. It's like being in a warm pool of water, and for the other person it's completely terrifying.
That's how it was for me in the past, on the receiving end. But I know that at one level there is a directionality, a giving and a receiving, and at another level there isn't.
The ocean and the wave
Imagine an ocean calling the attention of a wave. The wave believes it's just a wave, and the ocean is putting the attention of the wave into the ocean, so that the wave can know that it is the ocean. Eventually, the awareness of the wave that believed it was just a wave recognizes that it is the ocean. At that level, it's not giving or receiving, because it's the shared oceanness that is being recognized. But that movement, that magnetic pull of awareness into the ocean, feels like a giving and a receiving. At that level it is giving and receiving, but what it's moving the awareness into is a shared, substantive nature.
What it can do is this: a person can start to recognize that what they are isn't what they thought they were, and that at an essence level, you are that current.
The responsibility of power
This is what we were drawn to, what we try to feel into at some level with our hobbies, our passions. It is a reconnecting with an essential part of our nature. But when you open to that current directly, the magnitude is vastly different. If you go to a rock concert, or even a smaller concert where there's a lot of people and a lot of energy, that's what's moving everybody: a moving into this substantive sense of self, and that's the well-being.
But that same energy can be used in unconscious ways. It's moving that same energy, and some have been aware of this and have intentionally developed those energies for destructive ends. That's why there's a responsibility at that level. It comes with, at least for me, an incredible sense of power.