When Good Experiences Become a Trap
Cuando las buenas experiencias se convierten en una trampa
A student describes feeling an open, loving space in practice, then wondering whether she is simply clinging to a pleasant experience rather than recognizing something deeper.
When Good Experiences Become a Trap
A student describes feeling an open, loving space in practice, then wondering whether she is simply clinging to a pleasant experience rather than recognizing something deeper.
I feel the same way: that space is very open and there's a lot of love. And then something comes in and thinks it has to do something with it. Stress wants to hold on to it, and sometimes I ask myself whether it's just a good energy that I'm feeling, and in the end, that's not it. Sometimes I feel like I'm touching what is being pointed to, and then I'm not sure. Maybe it's also just an experience I'm holding on to. Do you know what I mean?
I think I know what you're talking about.
Experiences as confirmations, not destinations
It's common that at first, in the journey home, we have certain kinds of experiences. You'll notice them because there are certain states, feelings, emotions, movements in the body. In a sense, these are confirmations or validations of the direction things are moving. There is a resonance. But then it's very common to interpret those experiences as the arrival at something, and so we get a little attached. This is very normal. It's just part of the process.
The fear underneath the clinging
It has to do with a bit of fear, worry, or anxiety. First of all, it feels good, so we want more. But there's also a worry that something is lost, or that something's not okay with us in the state we're in now, without feeling that particular flavor of some recognizable feeling or energy.
What we're looking for is in all experiences
In a sense, you could see this as something that takes time. You start to recognize that what we're actually looking for is present in all experiences. It's even in the pain, even in the stormy mind. For most people this recognition unfolds gradually, though for some it happens suddenly, and that isn't always pleasant.