What Anger Helps You Not Feel
Lo que la ira te ayuda a no sentir
A question about recurring patterns of anger and what may lie beneath habitual emotional reactions.
What Anger Helps You Not Feel
A question about recurring patterns of anger and what may lie beneath habitual emotional reactions.
The approach is nonviolent, and I use a lot of nonviolent communication. But sometimes the pattern is very deep. Yes, pay attention, but for how long does it stay in the body? How long do you repeat the same pattern? I become angry because I have a thought, and then I'm adding something on top of it. I agree with what you're saying, but there is more to it.
In that case, if it's a habitual thing where you notice the neurotic nature of it, but it keeps coming back and it's deep, I would suggest that there is something else you're feeling. The anger is helping you not feel something else.
Could you repeat that last part?
The anger as a shield
Obviously, it depends moment by moment on what the anger is, where it's coming from, and what the situation is. But if you notice a habit, a place that's contracted and neurotic, and you can tell that you keep falling into it, I would suggest that the anger is helping you not feel something else.
Yes, of course. I agree.
The way through
The way out of that is through. You can practice nonviolent communication, but the anger is still going to keep coming back. The way through is not just to feel more anger, but to see what's underneath it. What is it helping you not feel? It could be fear. It could be pain. You recognize and discover that fear or pain, or whatever it is. It's the same energy, but now you will be touching it more directly. There still might be anger, but something else is going to clarify. You will, for example, get in touch with fear or get in touch with pain, which is basically what the anger has been covering over.
Yes. Thank you. That opens my mind.