The Tightrope Between Sleep and Stillness
La cuerda floja entre el sueño y la quietud
A student describes a meditative state that feels like sleeping but isn't, and asks how to navigate the fine line between falling asleep and staying present during meditation.
The Tightrope Between Sleep and Stillness
A student describes a meditative state that feels like sleeping but isn't, and asks how to navigate the fine line between falling asleep and staying present during meditation.
I have a question about a meditative state I've been experiencing. I started meditating mostly with you, and in the beginning I would fall asleep quite often. Sometimes, when I'm trying to sleep at night, I fall asleep and then automatically try not to sleep because I think, "Wait, is this like meditation, or am I just sleeping?" And then in meditation lately, I've been noticing that my mind enters this state where it feels like I'm sleeping, but I know I'm not. It's like some kind of energy reserve mode. It seems like such a fine line, and I was wondering if you could share your experience or talk about it a little.
For you specifically, I would say don't worry too much about falling asleep or staying awake. At most, if you're actually sitting for meditation, find a position that's a bit harder to fall asleep in. If you're lying down on a couch, it's going to be a lot easier to fall asleep. You can explore using a chair or a pillow so you're sitting in a position where your head doesn't have a place to rest. But don't force it if it's stressful and you're tired.
The in-between state
When we're meditating and entering the state you're talking about, it could be a positive thing. So it's just a matter of continuing to explore and experiment, but not from a place of stress or routine. Don't worry too much about what's happening with states, whether it's a meditative state or sleep.
What can happen is this: if we're very involved in a way of being that is deeply immersed in the world of thinking, and then we give ourselves a bit of time, especially in a group setting where there's a group energy, our body-mind isn't used to that. So if you pause, all it knows is "sleep" and "awake," and "awake" means very much involved in thinking. Meditation and that state of falling asleep are not that different, because in both there's a slowing down of the world of thinking. Sometimes all we know how to do when thinking slows down is fall asleep. It's just a habit. And we can also be very tired from constant thinking.
Curiosity over correctness
Just notice if you have any worry about it, or if you're trying to do it right. The most important thing is that you have a curiosity that gives you the desire to sit and meditate and explore. Then you can play with it: "What if I sit in a position that's a little harder to fall asleep in?" But don't torture yourself. If you're falling asleep, it's totally fine.
A lot of what happens when we do this work isn't us doing it. It's about allowing something. It's really all about that, because we're not actually doing anything.
I guess for me it feels like there's a tightrope or something.
It is a balance. It is exactly that, and that's why I'm saying explore a position that's a little harder to fall asleep in. If you're falling too easily into sleep, the balance is: what if it's a little harder to fall asleep because my head doesn't have a place to rest? Maybe you start nodding off. But if you're doing that and it's stressful, and you're tired, and you're forcing yourself to stay awake, then stop. Because that's the other side of the same problem: trying to do something, trying to get somewhere, trying to force something.
The space between sleep and thought
I've had some really powerful shifts in meditations where I was pretty much falling asleep. That place of "I'm kind of asleep and I'm kind of awake" is far better than if we're meditating and just thinking, thinking, thinking.
It teeters from thinking to "okay, I'm experiencing," and then I'm falling asleep.
That's it. And just notice: "Oh, now I'm in that. Now I'm in that." You'll start to become more awake in the place that's in between. Just aware that there's something that is aware, and there isn't the normal world of thought. Which, it seems, is what you're already describing.