Playing Smaller to Keep the Boat Steady
Hacerse más pequeño para mantener el barco estable
A question about the tendency to compromise and shrink oneself in relationships in order to maintain them, and what it means to explore who "me" really is within that dynamic.
Playing Smaller to Keep the Boat Steady
A question about the tendency to compromise and shrink oneself in relationships in order to maintain them, and what it means to explore who "me" really is within that dynamic.
I sometimes feel like I end up playing smaller. In every relationship, I feel like I compromise in order to try to keep things stable, to not rock the boat, to be the person I perceive my partner wants me to be. I do this to maintain what I perceive to be what holds the relationship together. Over and over, though, that's proven to not actually be the case. There has been pretty legitimate depth. Although not always: some conversations have been really hard and caused greater pain. There's this idea of the end of a relationship being the beginning of a new form of relationship.
The "me" in the dance
Yes. And I would emphasize: when you explore that other person in the dance, when you see that the other person is a part of me, be attentive to what this "me" is. Do that so you're not just redefining what you are, but rather questioning it more completely. Not just a makeover. That move toward being more completely who you are, more authentically who you are, requires more than simply replacing one self-image with another.