The Pull of Thought and the Practice of Returning
La atracción del pensamiento y la práctica de regresar
A student describes noticing how attention is repeatedly drawn into thought, and asks whether using physical sensation to return to presence is a form of spiritual bypassing. The teacher explains why this is not only valid but essential, and offers a practical breath-counting method for building the capacity to stay present.
The Pull of Thought and the Practice of Returning
A student describes noticing how attention is repeatedly drawn into thought, and asks whether using physical sensation to return to presence is a form of spiritual bypassing. The teacher explains why this is not only valid but essential, and offers a practical breath-counting method for building the capacity to stay present.
I noticed something very subtle while you were speaking. Something was dropping into thought, and suddenly I couldn't really hear what you were talking about. There was a tension, a movement of being drawn into thoughts instead of hearing you during the meditation. As soon as it was noticed, there was another movement of directing attention back to the voice, and then I was listening again.
These are very subtle movements. Sometimes I deliberately try to stay focused by creating some sensation, like holding my hands so there is something to anchor to, keeping me present rather than being drawn into thoughts and stories. Sometimes thoughts relating to what is happening in the situation have a very strong magnetism.
I notice more and more how and when attention goes into thoughts and stories. This movement happens quite often, and there is also a kind of dislike toward the attention going into the story. I don't know if this is some sort of spiritual bypassing.
If I understand you correctly, no. You are describing a very important process of working toward a shift in your body and mind.
The habit of living in thought
Habitually, through society and upbringing, we have all been trained to live in thought. Everything that matters, how we function, what the world is: it all exists in the world of thought. This work, in a sense, requires a practice where we can reverse that. We go back into the body, back into presence.
When you say you hold your hands to bring yourself back, that is a very common practice. Think of prayer beads, for example. You meditate, and there is a practice of moving beads along a necklace. What is that? It is because that movement creates a sensation. It is like the breath, but the breath sometimes happens so automatically that we forget about it. That makes it a more subtle practice. When our mind is really intense and pulling us, and we have not yet created the shift where we are more naturally in the body, it is good to have a more intense practice. I think you are instinctively using sensation in your hand to bring yourself back to presence.
It is not at all a spiritual bypass. It is actually a requirement for this work. But it is not enough on its own. One can become really good at being with the breath, being with sensation, and that is a good thing, but there is further work needed.
Reversing the habit
The goal is to reverse the habit: instead of the habit of thinking, the habit of noticing thought and returning to sensation. That is a kind of training. Most mindfulness meditation practices serve exactly this purpose, and they are valuable because they create a shift in our body and mind that allows space for a deeper process.
Counting the breath
One example is counting breaths. If you are just paying attention to your breath, it is very easy to forget about it, leave the body, and go into thought. But if you count the breath, it becomes harder to drift away unnoticed. You can count on the exhale: notice the breath going in, and as it goes out, say "one" quietly, or even speak it aloud. If your mind is very intense and distracting, speaking the count aloud helps because you will notice when you have stopped counting. If you count only internally, you are more likely to forget.
So, for example, you speak "one" and let the breath in. As it goes out, speak "two." Go up to a number like fifteen, and then count back down. You exhale: fourteen, thirteen, twelve. The reason this matters is that if you start counting automatically, you will find yourself at twenty, twenty-three, forty-five, or a thousand and twenty. Or you will realize, "Oh, I am past fifteen." That becomes a trigger to recognize that you have been distracted. Then you go back to one, up to fifteen, back to one. Pick a number not too high and not too low.
This will connect you to the awareness of breath, the attention to the breath, a kind of sensation. As you do this, you will notice that you can reach a point where you can count and also see thought arising. Thought will not distract you so much that you lose the count. Thought can do what it does. It does not need to change. It does not need to stop. It is simply for us not to get completely pulled away.
No destination, no self-criticism
Once that becomes more natural, start looking at the subtler aspects of experience. Wonder what it is that pulls you into thought. But do not do that right now, or it will just become more thinking. Once you are able to stay with the breath and count, and you can go a few cycles up to fifteen and back down, simply start again from one whenever you realize you have lost track. What this helps you see is that there is nowhere to get to. There is no achievement in reaching fifteen. You just start again from one.
There is often self-criticism about going into thought. Just know that it is very normal, and this is simply a practice. We need to acquire that shift. But then you can start paying attention to the sensation itself. What is it that is so tempting about thought? You can begin to recognize that something is a bit uncomfortable, or there is a fear, or some other emotional quality that thinking helps us numb. Thinking helps us disconnect from a sensation. That is the next step: once you can stay with the counting of the breath, learning to stay with the uncomfortable sensations.
So this attention that keeps going to thought, it is a habit from growing up. And this attention is not me. And redirecting the attention away from thoughts, that is just what is happening.
The part that can direct change
Let's say it this way. You are right that it is not you, but it is a part of you. Think of it like driving a car where the brakes don't work well enough. They work, but not well enough, and so you need to address that. You direct a change that happens in the car so it can function properly. But the brakes, the accelerating, the movement: that is not you. There is something in you that can, in a sense, direct this change.
Something in me can direct the change. The attention, for the time being, is not functioning effectively.
Exactly. It is a malfunction, and it is very natural, very normal. It is simply the problem of society, of human existence. The mind evolved to be so powerful that it becomes the most fascinating thing around.