Deeper Wanting and the Freedom to Say No
El deseo más profundo y la libertad de decir no
A question about discerning between surface-level desires and a deeper sense of what one truly wants, and how letting go of contracted self-images can reveal a more authentic direction.
Deeper Wanting and the Freedom to Say No
A question about discerning between surface-level desires and a deeper sense of what one truly wants, and how letting go of contracted self-images can reveal a more authentic direction.
I wanted to check in about something you talked about a few weeks ago. It was at the end of a session, so I didn't get to ask about it, and I can only remember it vaguely. I think we were talking about what the universe wants to create through you, and about fear. You said something about following that deeper impulse but not paying attention to what you don't want, or something along those lines. I feel like I want some clarity on that discernment.
I don't remember that specifically, but it gets complex, because there could be a part of us that doesn't want something. Yet if we are free enough from false knowings, we could realize we want something even if a part of us doesn't.
The deeper want vs. the surface want
This is an abstract and complicated way to generalize, but here is an example. Going to work might not feel appealing. You might not want to, but you go. Why do you go? Because at a deeper place of knowing, you want to go, even if a part of you doesn't. That is the difference between what I call the deeper want.
The expression "what does the universe want through you, or as you" is just a way to do an imaginary exercise: if you could feel yourself as the universe. If you could take yourself out of your common way of thinking about yourself, which is mostly body and mind. We contract what we think we are into something limited and known through thought.
Wanting from contraction
From that contracted perspective, the experience of wanting, the experience of desiring, is shallow. It is actually limited. It is coming from the limitation. So one approach is to look at that limitation directly. Through that looking, there can be a freeing up. There are different approaches to this: self-inquiry, different kinds of meditation. And then the wanting can become deeper and freer.
Another approach is to go directly to the inquiry of a deeper wanting. I recommend both. It is not that one is better than the other. You do an ab workout; you also do an arm workout.
When the deeper want is a no
I am not sure what you are remembering me saying about not desiring, or about what we don't want. But it might have to do with this: sometimes the deeper want is a "no" to something, while the more superficial want is a "yes." So it is the reverse of the work example.