Being With Pain
Estar con el dolor
A reflection on how the attempt to control pain creates fear, and how learning to be with pain allows it to be processed naturally.
Being With Pain
A reflection on how the attempt to control pain creates fear, and how learning to be with pain allows it to be processed naturally.
They go hand in hand.
Yes. The sense of safety was defined as "where I don't have pain," so if I do the right thing, if I know enough, if I control enough, I keep pain away. And that creates fear, because now pain can always come back.
The antidote of being with pain
But if we are able to learn to be with pain, to be with fear, then we can be with the pain and the fear around it starts to dissipate. That is why I call it an antidote. It is not about removing the pain. It is about being able to be with it when it comes. Then the fear structures around it can relax, and the pain gets processed. The body and mind have their own wisdom for processing pain.
When I say pain, it could have so many forms, so many flavors. And something that is key here is that we are ultimately only able to be with it when we don't need it to stop or go away. Otherwise, being with it is just a strategy for making it end.
Closeness to the heart
And this is so close to our love and our heart.
It is so humbling. It brings me down to the ground, to where I actually am, instead of anywhere but here.