Living in the Outcome of Previous Decisions
Vivir en el resultado de decisiones anteriores
A question about feeling stuck in circumstances created by an earlier version of oneself, and the frustration of waiting to arrive somewhere new.
Living in the Outcome of Previous Decisions
A question about feeling stuck in circumstances created by an earlier version of oneself, and the frustration of waiting to arrive somewhere new.
I was wondering if you could say something about when you feel like you're in the wrong place, like you're living in the manifestation of a previous you, and the new one hasn't been created yet. It's connected to what you talk about regarding doing what's true to you. I feel like I'm doing that more, but I'm still living in the outcome of previous decisions that probably weren't very good at the time. They take time to shift, so it's something like patience, I suppose. Maybe letting go of the idea that it's wrong in the first place would be good, but this feeling that I'm in the wrong place is really pissing me off. I feel grumpy and intolerant of people around me that I don't want to be around. Maybe that's okay too, I don't know. It's a weird soup. Any pearls of wisdom?
The answer already present
I think you gave yourself the answer: there's nothing wrong. And you're also expressing a lot of playfulness. Right now you're talking about being pissed off and angry, and it's quite delightful because there's a playfulness with it, there's humor. There's an aliveness here with us right now. You are expressing the answer as you speak.
You said two things. One is that it's not wrong, and then you brought an energy to it that is playful and humorous. I would say to you, that is the pearl of wisdom.
Nowhere to arrive
You're talking about a change in life and form, from previous decisions to something new, and it's going to take time. But that newness is never arriving. It'll change to something closer to how you imagine it should be, and then it'll keep changing, and then it'll keep changing again. What you know comes from change and goes toward change.
Exactly. It's like I'm waiting to arrive somewhere, like a destination I'm not at that I need to be at.
Yes, that's the frustration, and the sense of being in between.
But what you're saying is I'm never going to feel like I've arrived anyway.
You can, but only when you realize you're already there. You always have been, and you always will be. That is what's here now.
But at the level of the experience of life, the task is to truly see that there is nowhere to arrive to. And in the meantime, even until that becomes obvious, the journey can be a little more pleasant if you bring the same energy you just brought now, which is humorous and playful.
Humor in the middle of frustration
In the middle of the frustration and the anger, you can also have a laugh, because you tapped into it yourself right here as you shared. Something about this moment invited or enabled you to bring that playfulness, but it's something you did on your own.
Give yourself permission to have humor and playfulness about it. If you're around people you have frustrations with, you can find the comedic aspect of it in your own experience.
Yeah. I think I saw recently that any sense of restriction or compliance is made up. Something shifted around that. Fear of consequences has stopped me from doing things, and when that loosens, it's like, "Oh, right."
Yes, exactly.