The Last Object
El último objeto
A student describes having seen through the sense of a separate self, yet still feels unsatisfied. The teacher points to a subtle remaining identification: an unformed, almost energetic sense of subjectivity that itself is still a thought.
The Last Object
A student describes having seen through the sense of a separate self, yet still feels unsatisfied. The teacher points to a subtle remaining identification: an unformed, almost energetic sense of subjectivity that itself is still a thought.
I've seen that there's nothing there in the thought. I've checked many times. There's just nothing there. Why isn't that enough?
Because there's more to see. What is the nature of that which knows?
When you say there is nothing there, that nothing is seen but thoughts, that observation itself is known. That which knows what you just said: what is it?
Let me take another example. When I pinch my arm, there's immediately a pain feeling. There is no separate sense of "pain feeling." It is felt immediately. There's no one in between. There is no gap between the pain and the self.
Another example: when I direct attention to the feet, there's sensation in the feet. But directing attention to the feet doesn't create the sensation. The sensation is already there. Directing attention doesn't create anything; it's just a sense of control that confirms a sense of self, as if there is a self.
I have clearly realized there is just no such person. Everything is on its own, by itself, automatic, on autopilot. There is a deep understanding that there is no control. Isn't that the end of seeking?
Well, you tell me. You told me you are seeking.
I don't know. It's probably a thought I believe in. There's still a belief that I seek.
The subtle, empty subject
No, because if you had found it, you would be saying something different. There would be satisfaction. And that's what I say: seek, and don't stop seeking until you find satisfaction.
There is one place you can keep looking. You were talking about this sense of self. When you direct your attention to your feet and notice the sensation, there's a sense of control or a sense of self. Notice that there might be a really subtle object of thought. Not an object exactly, but almost like an empty subject. It's a subjectivity that is empty. There's nothing there, but it's a subjectivity that seems different from that which is known. It seems different from what is experienced.
Does that subtle subjectivity have to go?
No, it doesn't have to go, but it can be seen more clearly.
I totally agree. There is this very subtle, almost energetic thing. Even when seeing there's nothing there in the thought, there is this very subtle presence. I haven't seen through that, so I keep seeing it.
The mind's capacity for unformed objects
Exactly. Because the mind has a capacity to create unformed objects. You identify with that, but it's still a thought. And it often arises as part of this process. To that which we identify, all the objects of thought come and go, and then we create a kind of ultimate unformed subject, an abstract subjectivity that is now observing all the objects. But it's still a thought. It's a subtle thought. In a sense, it's a doorway: the last object. You could call it the witness, the seer, the subject. But it's still an object of thought.
Yes. Compared to a normal thought that has content and a story inside, this thought has no content. It exists in the form of a suggestion.
Exactly. That's it. And that too is a thought. Just see it.
I have noticed it, but perhaps not clearly enough.
Investigating the subtle sense of subjectivity
When you pay attention to your experience, you're not wanting or looking for something to end. You're wanting to see what really is there. You can sit and contemplate anything in your experience: sensation, perception. But look at that really subtle sense of subjectivity and objectivity. Then try to see: where is that subjectivity? Does it have a sensation? Does it have a location?
There's no sensation to it, but there is an energetic movement. That's what it feels like. The suggestion causes an energetic movement, which is not seen directly, as if it's imagined, but it feels like something.
That energetic movement likely has two aspects. One is what you're describing as images or a thought aspect, and the other is the energetic quality, which is also a subtle sensation.
It is a sensation, definitely. But very, very minute, easily ignored.
Subjectivity as object
Yes. Just notice that, and notice it especially in relationship to what it's being created as: a subject that separates from an object. It doesn't necessarily have to be a specific object; it could be all objects of experience, all form, all phenomena. And then there's this subtle phenomenon, a subtle form of subtle sensation, which functions as "subject."
Just look at that, and notice that even that subtle sensation is object. It will create a subtle location, even if it seems like a spacious, unformed openness. It's very tricky because it's subtle, and the mind has this capacity for creating the illusion of space. For example, when we talk about beingness or consciousness being the space where objects appear, that "space" is not actually a space. It's a subtle object, a form, a thought form.
So just keep looking at that subtle subjectivity. It will clarify.
Yes. Thank you.