The Ghost Under the Bed
El fantasma debajo de la cama
A student asks whether energetic expansions experienced during practice are confirmation of genuine spiritual progress, and the teacher explores the difference between real insight and the addictive cycle of expansion and contraction.
The Ghost Under the Bed
A student asks whether energetic expansions experienced during practice are confirmation of genuine spiritual progress, and the teacher explores the difference between real insight and the addictive cycle of expansion and contraction.
The one thing I feel I get a little attached to when energy is moving is that it seems like some kind of confirmation that something is happening, some deeper realization or shift. Do you agree?
It can be, but it can also be something else entirely. I'm speaking generally here, because one thing is you specifically at a specific moment, but generally it's not necessarily a confirmation. It could be just an addictive process. It could be a process of expanding and contracting as a way to preserve an identification.
Because it feels good when you expand. Okay.
And so we do that, and then it feels like you're getting somewhere.
Good to know. I realize that's why I get excited when it happens, because I think maybe I'm moving somewhere.
The expansion-contraction habit
It can be, and in a sense it is. But what matters is prior to that. You can have fun with the expansion, allow it, enjoy it, but also know that it's not really the heart of what we're talking about. It's something that can happen and does happen, but it's not a confirmation in the way you mean.
So it's like an expansion, but it doesn't mean you're gradually expanding more and more.
You can be expanding and contracting, but if what I get from the expansion is a sense that I got somewhere, then I have to contract again in order to feel like I got somewhere again.
Right. And is that a pattern you can perceive in any of us?
Not in the moment, because it's more about detecting a process over time. If it becomes something that just keeps repeating, then it's most likely that habit. You can notice the habit and notice how you might be putting energy and attention into it.
And if it is that habit, it doesn't really matter?
I'm talking from experience. A lot of years of energetic pyrotechnics.
In which pattern? Oh, you've been there.
There were a lot of energetic shifts that were real in the sense of fundamental shifts, but then there were a lot that were just a habit of expanding and contracting. It's very mysterious as well. I don't fully understand it, but I do have a sense. I know very strongly that it can be addictive and completely unrelated to actual freedom. But you also can't deny it, avoid it, or fight it. In a sense, it has to be embraced as part of a process. This is a process that goes very deep in the body and in the mind, with energies we don't understand, energies we don't yet have tools to measure, if we ever would.
But it's not purely subjective. There's a physical process happening in the body.
The energies are not just subjective. They can be felt by others, yes.
What was seen that is true at all times
When there's an experience like that, what matters is what was seen that is true and real at all times. As a metaphor: I'm afraid of ghosts, afraid there's a scary creature under the bed, and I'm terrified. Then I look under the bed, there's nothing there, and I feel very relieved. Suddenly I can sleep. It's amazing. But then, if I want to feel that release again, I have to convince myself again there's a ghost under the bed. And then I could have that rush again: the contraction, the fear, the sleeplessness, and then I look under the bed and feel amazing because there's no ghost.
Is that why, when people are new to the path but very sincere, they'll have an expansion, and then after a while those experiences slow down?
Yes. It's beginner's luck, in a sense. Because you're not conditioned yet, it's new, and you're not expecting anything, so things can happen quite intensely. But then the mind is going to appropriate everything, make a thing out of everything, build a process out of everything, especially around energetics.
Trust the knowing, not the experience
The point is: you know there's no ghost under the bed, so stop believing there's a ghost at some point. Obviously, in that metaphor, a ghost could appear for the first time, so you have to keep checking. But the type of thing we're talking about has to do with "who am I, what am I." If I have a really deep glimpse that I'm not separate, then keep looking at when separation comes up again as a belief, instead of trying to repeat the experience that gave me that knowing. Just trust the knowing. Trust the glimpse. Trust the seeing. And then look at what's happening now. If there is a fear, if there is a worry, what is it about?
It's important to have those glimpses even if they're partial. A partial glimpse is when the belief that I am completely separate gets pierced, but it's not fully gone, not fully seen. It gets softened.
I've had an experience quite a few times. After looking at the laptop, I look away and sometimes look up to the ceiling, and an image of the laptop appears there. It happens with other objects as well. Is that related to this?
That's like an optical illusion. The retina still has triggers from the laptop, so you move away and you still see it.
Yes, and it's very visible. It looks like a mental image. But it's not something that normally happens to me. I don't know if it's connected to waking up.
Measuring progress by well-being, not by effects
I wouldn't pay too much attention to that, because trying to look for signs that we're waking up through energetic effects or unusual experiences is a tricky thing, and there's going to be a lot of confusion. The signs to look for are: what is my sense of well-being? Do I feel like there is more well-being than there used to be?
Well-being: what do you mean by it?
I'm trying not to call it peace, because what I refer to as peace can't really be understood or described. Well-being is more like the effect of that in the body and the mind: more ease, less regular contraction and turmoil. That's a sign of waking up.
What you're describing, yes, there are all kinds of optical illusions and energetic things that can happen. Our eyesight can really change, especially if we meditate. The body and the mind can go through a lot. It's very malleable, especially the mind. A lot of strange things can happen with perception and thought. In a sense it's good to notice that strange things are happening, and you can say, "Okay, something's happening." But trying to measure progress that way is not the right approach, because then you'll be seeking effects and experiences and trying to follow a map: first you have to see the laptop on the ceiling, then you have to see the blue unicorn. You're going to start experiencing all of the things according to the map.
Okay, yes. Thank you.
But it is important to know that a lot of strange things will happen. Don't be startled. And if there's physical pain, first check with a doctor, because it could be pain from a spiritual process, but rule things out medically, just to be safe.
Yes, and sometimes I lose the feeling of my feet.
That's very common.
It's normal, then. Good. Thank you.
Feet, hands, body, world, mind. It could all go. Something remains. What is that?