The Tenderness Beneath the Knowing
La Ternura Bajo el Conocer
A student describes a deep, tender openness that arises during the teaching, and the teacher invites them to rest there without grasping at understanding or strategy.
The Tenderness Beneath the Knowing
A student describes a deep, tender openness that arises during the teaching, and the teacher invites them to rest there without grasping at understanding or strategy.
I'm feeling it really strongly as you're talking about it. There's such a deep resonance, and I can feel it start to open. It's very tender, very soft. This is who I am. This is that innocence, like a child, just not knowing. And I can feel how so much was built to protect and keep that safe. The knowing was an attempt to keep it safe and out of harm's way. It was attached to relational trauma for me. I built all these walls of protection and knowing to keep everyone out.
And even now, as you come to this really tender, vulnerable place, which you described very beautifully, notice the temptation to explain it and understand it a little more than necessary. I know what you're talking about. The invitation is to be just still and quiet with that. A burning, vulnerable rawness. There's something very sweet there. A bittersweetness, possibly. It's that childlike openness and innocence.
Letting the heart blossom
As you become more settled with that, you'll be able to see that it doesn't need protection. As a child, it did, and you've done a great job at that. Now it's just time for that to blossom again and come forward. The qualities of heart.
You can very gently notice the temptation of thought and the mind to grasp at knowing, understanding, and explaining. Bring the understanding that of course you would want that. The knowing was the safe place. But now it's no longer necessary. It was a needed stepping stone.
The essence of being in the heart center is that it harmonizes. It's not just love or affection. It harmonizes the kingdom: aligning with truth and well-being, caring, gentleness. That's my sense of what you're sharing.
Thank you so much. It's really very hopeful, and I can feel the parts that want to contract again. Not stay in this openness.
You don't even need to fight that. Just understand that of course that contraction was all you had. It was necessary, and it was helpful, but it's not needed anymore. You can caringly, gently, lovingly say goodbye to that safe place of the knowing.
The knowing that wants to know
Even this knowing wants to know, like, "Why is this sensation in my lower belly and not in my heart?"
Exactly. Just let it move mysteriously through the infinite spaces. Just trust. This is how I would interpret the true meaning of the word faith. It's not faith in dogma or words. It's just a deep trust, a letting go of that knowing. The knowing of the mind.
It just feels so raw to be like, "But what am I going to do if I don't think about everything?"
You can have fun with the mind doing that. The mind is going to think. It's like the heart is going to pump. The mind is going to create thoughts. Relate to them in a different way, and then the mind will change how it functions and responds. It doesn't change by us trying to manipulate the mind. You'll find a way to move and live where you're not hooked to that kind of knowing. Eventually, it will bring more harmony. There's no guarantee, but it will.
Life is already moving you
I always just had this longing to allow life to move me, hoping that it would reveal itself, how that's going to happen.
It's always happening, and you will be recognizing it more and more. It's already happening.
When my attention is on this area, it's just flowering, and it's so tender. I feel so dumb. It feels so good to be dumb.
A lot less work! Knowing all the time is a lot of effort, and a lot of effort in self-delusion, because we don't really know.
It's all just such nonsense. This particular character's identity was so wrapped up in that, in being so intelligent.
I relate.
Don't make it a strategy
Maybe just a last question. Do you think focusing in this physical region is good? My intuition feels like it's good to just keep my attention there.
I wouldn't say that. No. Just be playful. Be like a child. Stay connected to that openness, vulnerability, innocence. Focusing on an area is already a little too much of a strategy. It doesn't mean don't connect and pay attention to that, just don't have a fixed direction like that.
That makes sense. I think because it's a strong sensation, normally I'll give my attention to wherever there's a strong sensation in the body.
Yes, but the attention could be creating the strong sensation. The attention loop. Just notice that. The temptation to have a strategy is already back to some form of knowing.
That is so true. Thank you so much.
You're welcome.