Dropping the Idea of Liberation
Soltar la idea de la liberación
A student asks whether there is something specific to pursue in the realm of awakening, and the teacher responds by questioning the very notion of liberation as a destination.
Dropping the Idea of Liberation
A student asks whether there is something specific to pursue in the realm of awakening, and the teacher responds by questioning the very notion of liberation as a destination.
You mentioned the recommendation to go towards life. Is there anything also in the awakening realm that you think might be helpful?
The distinction between life and awakening isn't helpful. Towards life is awakening.
That's beautiful, and it aligns with my orientation. But the mind is often trying to figure out what I'm missing from full liberation, piecing it together from what this teacher said or that one said. Obviously that's not it, and it's not helpful, but it's what's happening. There's definitely some curiosity for a pointer that might settle that energy. What is even missing for full liberation? So much of what you describe matches my experience, and yet, from everything I've shared with you, some parts are not there.
Are you willing to drop the notion of liberation? Now, and forever.
It feels like that comes in waves. I do drop it. I can speak to now, but I can't promise you forever.
That's an attachment to beliefs.
It's the person that wants to be good enough, reach the end, and so on.
The illusion of an endpoint
There's no end. There's nowhere to arrive at.
But still, somehow you and a lot of teachers have this clear moment where it's like, "Oh, that's done."
When you see there's no end. Never was, never will be.
I mean, I see it. It's obvious there's no end. But I still have this pull.
You still believe that maybe it's there. "I see it's not, but hopefully, maybe it's there. I'm still going to hope and work towards it."
Just because of the way you and others describe your experience, it still feels like a carrot: "I don't have that yet." And you have a story of a moment where it shifted night and day.
Where I saw it was all an illusion.
And I've had those glimpses.
Trust me, there's no end. So just live. I'm trusting my sense, which I keep getting over and over, that for you right now it's simply: dive into life gently. Not from your past ways, not for the sake of arriving anywhere. That's all there is left.
Just for the love of now. Of living.
Practice without destination
So, no practices or seeking?
I'm not saying don't practice. Sit, do whatever. Just not to get anywhere. It's like practicing piano: you don't practice to arrive at some specific moment in time where you would finally "get there." It's infinite. Infinite learning. But it comes from enjoyment.
But up until you had your big shift...
It was a very small shift. The biggest change came from the smallest shift.
Fine, your microscopic shift. Up until that point, I'm imagining you had practices and maybe some seeking energy around it.
Not up until it, actually. That ended before. I stopped practicing. I lost hope in anything really changing or getting any better, so I stopped meditating.
So you stopped, and then it happened spontaneously.
I don't feel like that's something you can emulate.
I know. But it's a little helpful, because I haven't been doing practices either. I'm not doing anything like I used to. I don't feel that same seeking energy. And yet the mind still has these movements of "What is it? What's missing?"
You can still sit. Just sit with no reason, no end goal. Just to be with whatever is.
Letting attention do what it does
I used to have more focus on awareness: where is my attention, and that kind of monitoring.
Let attention do whatever it does. If you sit for two hours and are completely distracted, then, well, that's fine.
That's pretty much what's happening right now. "Oh, I was lost in thought for this stretch of time. Okay."
Chasing something you're imagining
You have a conception of somewhere to arrive at, which you describe as the big shift that happened for me, as "liberation." And I understand, because I've been there. But all of the ideas about that are completely wrong. You could never imagine it. It's just completely unimaginable. You cannot conceive of it. And so you're chasing something you're imagining, and the image of it is a complete illusion.
That makes perfect sense. And when I notice the mechanism of thought that wants to capture it, or compare and check, "Is my experience this yet?"...
That's the risk of talking about this. The mind is going to interpret it and make it something it's not. That's part of the challenge. But it's better to talk about it and let the mind do what it does than to avoid it entirely and have no communication at all.
But I do imagine that at some point those thoughts stop appearing, the ones that try to check and compare.
The mind does what it does. I can imagine myself comparing my experience to some imagined other experience. My mind can do that. My mind can do a lot of things. The question is: is that compelling and real? For me, it's not.
That's really helpful. It aligns more with my experience, too. I see those thoughts, I give them some energy, and then I'm bored. I see the futility and it just drops.
Good. Have a lovely day.